The Quest for Self-Glorification

Ah, blogging.

The fact that it is 2007 and I am just now starting a blog is indicative of the fact that I am thoroughly entrenched in that area 'behind the times.' However, I understand that a blog is THE place to demonstrate how witty, intelligent, and self-righteous you are. I also understand that if you act like you are something (i.e. I want to be confident, so I act confident, although I'm really high off my ass on Klonopin), you will convince yourself you are. In this age of self-importance, my egotism is sorely lacking. And I don't think they've invented a narcissicism pill yet (unless Avril Lavigne is hogging them all), so I'm going to try the thing that seems to make every person completely self-deluded: the blog.

What do I hope to achieve? Well, I'm glad you ask (Look! My first hint of arrogance!). I hope to become so vain and egomaniacal that I'm actually able to convince others that my opinion counts. Hell, I just might convince myself! I hope to gleam some sort of vindication and self-worth, so that I can more easily beat every ounce of empathy from my body yet try to fake it, albeit shallowly (You have cancer? Oh. Did I tell you my tooth is sore?). In short, I'm trying to embrace my inner bitch. This is the place. Damn, are there some bitches around here!

So, bitches, guide me.